Back to the Index.(Whilst clearing out a derelict fridge, we found this tattered old piece of paper, covered in illegible spidery writing and drawings of boats in crayon, some coffee-stains, and bits of sand, and glitter. Realising that this could only possibly be some old pirate letter, we copied it out into English for you fledgling sea-wolves to learn from)
Avast all ye scurvy dogs and lily-livered sprogs, and take notice o' what we be tellin' ye, or Cap'n 'Thrush' Sms do be havin' to keelhaul ye! This article be tellin' ye everythin' ye'll be needin' to know afore lay'n down the keel o' yer ship fer Beyond Cyberdrome 2006. Arrr!
I'm Alex Holden (BushyBeard the Pirate to you, maties!), and if you've been to a Beyond Cyberdrome event before, you probably know more about it than I do. Nevertheless, I've been press-ganged into the service of the Pirate Ship Armadillo, and Cap'n Bacon tells me I be walkin' the plank wi' cannonballs in me boots if I don't be writin' this article for ye!
(After that, the style settles down a bit and goes on...)
Firstly, you need to find something that floats. A hull. Sounds easy doesn't it? Not so fast; it also needs to be made from something you can easily cut and shape (so glass and metal are probably a bad idea), it needs to be fairly water-tight, it needs to be a shape that isn't going to capsize too easily (a round-bottomed hull will tip much easier than a relatively flat-bottomed hull), and it needs to be big enough to hold your propulsion system, control system, and batteries, without being so big you can't navigate it around the course without running into things and getting stuck. We have two pools, both about ten feet by six feet, and one and a half feet deep (that's about three metres by two metres by half a metre deep). There will be 'mines' and other obstacles as well as other boats to avoid. Don't be afraid to experiment - we're more interested in clever and inventive solutions than perfect scale model galleons (though if that's what you want to build, don't let us stop you!). It's perfectly acceptable to buy a ready-made hull if you don't feel up to making one from scratch, but be aware that most of the model boat hulls you will find on the second hand market are a bit on the big size for our pools.
Secondly, you need a way to make it move. A propulsion system. There will be events for sailing craft (we'll have an air blower available in case we need to make an artificial breeze) so if you want to go the traditional route, just stick a mast on your hull, attach a sail to it, and you're done. If you want to make a powered ship, you'll need one or more motors (electric, steam, or clockwork please - we don't want to upset the hotel with noisy IC engines), and a way to use the rotation of the motor to push the boat. The most obvious way is with a propellor. I wouldn't recommend trying to make your own- buy a ready made prop and prop-shaft from a model shop or a second hand source like eBay and car boot sales. If you want to get a bit more creative, here are some alternative ideas: paddle wheels or paddle belts, twin Archimedes screws (see http://www.icechallenger.com/), vectored water jets (windscreen washer pumps might work for this), electric fans (fit guards, please - we don't want to lose any fingers this year), and powered oars. Or impress us by coming up with something we haven't thought of!
Thirdly, you need a way to steer it. If you've gone for sail propulsion, you can either do without any steering and hope it goes in the right direction, or you can rig up some kind of remote rudder steering and hope it goes in the right direction. Don't expect to have a great deal of control either way. If you've gone for a propellor driven boat, then the simplest method of steering is with a rudder, but be aware that rudders don't work terribly well except when a propellor is actively pushing water at them. In other words, you can't turn without also driving the boat forward, and if you don't have a reversing system it's very easy to get stuck in a corner. If you've gone for something like paddle or Archimedes screw propulsion instead, then a much better method of steering is to use two drive motors and rig up some way to reverse each motor independently, then use tank style steering. That method gives you a significant advantage over propellor based ships, because it allows you to turn on the spot, and in the small space we have available, manoeuvrability is everything. In fact, because of the limited manoeuvring space available, it may even be worth considering adding something like a bow thruster: an extra propellor drive at the front of the boat, mounted such that when you turn it on it pushes the bow sideways. Get creative - there are plenty of other ways to turn a boat than the ones I've mentioned here.
Fourthly, unless you go for a simple uncontrolled sailboat, you will need some way to remotely control the propulsion and steering systems. The ideal solution is to use an ordinary 27Mhz or 40Mhz proportional radio control system with servos, as used for model cars and boats. You should be able to pick up a second hand two channel set pretty cheaply, and there are a variety of simple ways to control motors using servos - email me directly if you need advice. DO NOT USE A 35MHZ MODEL AIRCRAFT RADIO AS THEY ARE ILLEGAL TO USE FOR SURFACE MODELS! Bear in mind that it's quite possible your boat will sink (ye'll be goin' down to Davey Jones's locker, yarrr!), and if you don't want your receiver to be ruined, you should put it inside a water-tight box with glands for the wires coming in and out. If you can, email me in advance with the crystal frequencies you have available, and I'll try to make sure we have enough different sets for everybody to use a different channel. If your budget doesn't stretch to a proper radio control system, the next best thing is to adapt the control system from a scrap radio controlled toy. These devices have their own built in motors that are controlled directly by the receiver, and it can be a little tricky to interface them to more powerful external motors without burning them out. With a little ingenuity, you may be able to directly use the toy's built-in motor(s) in your propulsion system. The main problem with these toys is that they all share the same small band of frequencies, so you are very likely to suffer interference if several people are transmitting at the same time. We will do our best to avoid pairing two boats against each other that use the same control frequency, but there's no guarantees you won't lose control of your boat, especially in the melee. An alternative method, less convenient than radio control but possibly more reliable, is to build your own control box and connect it to your boat using a long cable (an umbilical).
Fifthly, remember to add a winch to your boat if you want to enter the fishing challenge. Use a slow geared motor to drive it, and attach a strong magnet to the end of the line. If you're using a two channel radio to control your boat, it's acceptable to use a detachable control box on an umbilical and a second operator to control the winch for you. It's probably a good idea to run the string (or fishing line, weed strimmer line, whatever you have to hand) over the end of a boom of some sort so that when you lift up your booty it doesn't snag on the underside of your hull and fall off. If you can figure out some way to automatically drop your captured treasure into the boat instead of returning to the side and removing it by hand, we'll give you extra points for it.
Finally and most importantly, remember to test your boat. The bath is a good place to start, because you really don't want to have to go wading through freezing stagnant water, pond-scum, and submerged shopping trolleys if it conks out, sinks, or gets stuck on full forward (been there, done that). If you get stuck and need advice, don't hesitate to contact me directly by emailing "alex at beyond cyberdrome dot org dot yoo-kay".
Alex Holden * (His Mark)
(As to what became of "Alex Holden", there is no indication, though the fridge did contain some of what might be his remains ... or possibly that of a Fray Bentos Fish Pie)
For those wishing to see what sort of a man Alex might have been, please come along to the Beyond Cyberdrome "SCRAP Shipyards" at Eastercon.
Our historical reconstruction experts have studied the remains of a typical gin-addled sea-thief of the C18th and, from bits of bone, flotsam and MSG , have reconstructed what they believe Alex Holden might have looked like. Better still, Tim's wired it to some servo-motors!
Bring the kiddies and press his buttons to be dealt a hearty cuff round the ear'ole in the traditional seaman's manner!
Sms