Back to the Index.BC has been running for long enough now to be like a long-established member of a Geriatric Nursing Home which no-one can actually remember arriving and has no intention of leaving the nurses alone. After Royal visits, aerial events, webcams, discos, animated sex-aids, human sacrifice, Rock Gods... surely there can be nothing left to tempt the jaded palates of the hardened BC attendee...? So: This year, we have Five firsts.
First the First: Democracy.
In the Award ceremony of the last Eastercon we actually gave the public the
opportunity to vote for the theme of the next BC. The choice: The Wild West!
And Pirates! Landslide victory for Pirates! (Arrrr).
Pirates (Arrrr). What does that mean to you?
Big shirts. Jolly Roger. Johnny Depp (If you're a girl). Swords. Rum. Yo ho ho.
Bottle of. Caroline Munroe (If you're a bloke). Plank. Ships (Pref. With
sails). Spanish Gold. Baccy. Cannons. Flintlocks. Swashbuckling. Stripy vests.
Jean Paul Goatherd. Stupid facial hair. Chav Ear-rings. Ticking crocodiles.
Johnny Depp (If you're a girl). Planet Calufrax. Women in thighboots (Arrrr).
Treasure. Adam Ant. "Home taping is killing music". Watchmen. Mainbraces.
Splicing. Keel-Hauling. Pugwash. Johnny Depp (If you're a boy). Parrots.
Peg-legs. Hooks. Black Spots. Cheese. Phoenicians. C15th Free Market
Economics...
Oh! And water! Lots of bloody water!
Which brings us to:
First the Second: Water.
Since the earliest days of BC, people have regularly asked us a lot of stupid
questions like "Don't you think you're insulting our intelligence" and "Why not
have a water event?" To the latter, we've always answered "We don't have the
equipment." Let's face it, how the hell are we going to get hold of a means of
managing a vast body of water in a Con Hotel Environment?
... But, now we're working with The Gimp Bhoys. Ok, to you, they're James,
Stef and Elvis, Con Organisers of the Gods. To us, they're the Gimp Bhoys.
They're the people who made the last BC work so well.
So: This year we have, not just one but two large bodies of controllable water. Yes, this is the year to design and build those floating robots... and work on things like plank-walking engines and cannons and torpedoes ... Because we have two bloody great pools to do battle in, outside the building ... With planks.
Oh yes, that'll be:
First the Third: Outdoors.
BC is a very Tek-heavy event. We've spent years getting hold of bespoke arenas,
sound systems including mikes and music, lights, cameras action and ...
video-feedback...so we'd be blitheringly stupid to start holding it where these
things are almost impossible.
So:
Yes, it's the first Al Fresco Beyond Cyberdrome.
But, we're hanging onto some traditions. Like BC Impracticality.
Worse than that: - let's face it, if we're holding a BC event outside, it's
going to rain isn't it?
Bound to.
It's Easter f'krissakes m'hearties! In Glasgow! Don't forget those Sou-Westers!
There's only one way we can possibly not expect this event to be washed out,
and that's if we have God on our side ...
Which raises:
First the Fourth: God.
This is the first BC to be presented with the blessing of a major deity. In a
sense, it's going to be the first occasion of "Cybernetics as prayer" in the
world.
You see, just as we asked you all to dress as Romans for Beyond Cyberdromicus: "Circus Maximus", this time we're asking you to dress as Pirates (Arrrr). Happily, pirate gear just happens to be the ceremonial religious garb of the Church of the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster. There really isn't enough time to go into the entire theology of this right here. Just trust us: it's a good idea and you can find out more details from http://www.venganza.org/
And, when you've checked that, you can see why:
First the Fifth: Live Penguins.
We will actually be the first SF Con event to do something to directly prevent
Global Warming!
Simply by dressing up as Pirates.
Admit it, you can't miss this one.
Bring your best Chav ear-rings.
Best: SMS
(Arrrrr!)