As the 2Kon were the most
communicative Committee yet, we got confirmation and details of the
event printed in a Progress Report (Every other year the article
got lost), and an article in the Program Book. This meant that
people could plan their robots without fearing the event'd been
cancelled. Better still; 2Kon gave us a room for the Robot Workshop
for the entire Con (Equipped and Manned by M@ and Miche who, with
Eira and Sms, moved about four trolleyloads of kit through Glasgow
Station and up to the first storey room). This meant a continuous
event from Thurs-Sun and BC got a massive number (and high
standard) of Chaos Robots. Held in
the main hall, after a
marvellous demonstration of chemical explosives.
Thanks to Tim Kirk and Sparks, the event, in the Main Hall, was efficiently set up by Tek so the first time the Pitch was built to the Official Pitch Dimensions (In the area: 25/25). Knowing that there would be only six days between Eira and Sms's wedding and the BC event, Sms had planned on pre-filmed video inserts to do most of the presenting. Unfortunately, although filming for this began in September, there were very few free days (Particularly for someone to hold the camera) until after the wedding. These remaining days were occupied with Post-Wedding stuff, editing the 'Promo' for 'The Resurrection Works' (www.resurrection-works.co.uk). This meant that Sms spent the last night before going to the Con, editing together the Credit sequence. He then spent much of the Con, borrowing kit from Tek to crash-edit the inserts together in the hotel room.
Introduced by a (B&W) 'Todays World' video credit sequence. 'Tomorrows World' (Mid 1960's to 1970's) style presentation by Eira, Mark Slater and Sms. The (Now traditional) video playback was augmented by CD compilation of musak and sound FX (By M@), pre-recorded video sections comprising: 'Archive footage' of the filling of the Time Capsule in the 20th Century from 'One We Made Earlier'. 'Todays World' title sequence, 'Phillipa Forester' item, Moon Golf, Pointing at the World Of The Future, Car Parking Solutions "and more".
During the Robot Workshop, a 'Fly on
the wall' item was shot with Eira interviewing the Cychotics in
a 'Phillipa Forester' (Robot Wars/Tomorrows World
Presenter) manner. Mark wore glasses with no lenses in them (You
want something more trivial?!)
Cal, Julie and Barbara under direction from Cal, performed a complex '60's binary routine. First BC event to be invigillated by computer: The Tam-Ye-Scotchi. To the uninformed this looked like a cardboard box that fed out lavatory paper marked with 'punchcard holes' in felt tip. but we know better. Attempted pitch invasion by a violent lifesize Glaswegian 'Housemaid' robot. At the end, the 'One We Prepared Earlier' Time Capsule was delivered by Rocket Post via Woombarra and opened. The contents were just as unpleasant as the original 'Blue Peter' one excavated this same year (Now, there's a coincidence!). Video'd by Gary Stratmann.
(This year, people took our pre-printed 'Entrant Details' sheets seriously enough to write something coherent on each one. Most were illuminating enough to quote here):
"It's big. It's bad And it's a box. -And it might move!" And it was. And it did. Careful study of the 'Mass Limitation' Rule of 1996 allowed Tim to construct a box that was JUST, and NO BIGGER than three foot square. It moved about, steered by a String Vector Recalibration System ... and, yes... ate other robots. Terrific proof of the value of lateral thinking in engineering. But NOT cheating. Oh no... By Tim Kirk. Chaos entry.
"Entered by Miche. Dressed by Miche. Loved by Miche." A Porcine 'Terminator'. By.... Miche, actually.
From The Awesome Harris Brothers:
"You will get the point" Yes, we did. By Jamie Harris. Chaos Entry.
Would have fitted into the first BC perfectly:- a grotesque car-like construction.Chaos Entry. By Matthew Harris.
"The wizard of the blizzard". It says here... By Robert Harris. Chaos entry.
"Can you catch it? Changes direction on collision and may or may not be attracted to bright light sources" Yup. It's the Millennium all right. Lego is intelligent and it has blue plastic compound eyes. By Jamie Harris and Bazooka Chaos entry.
"Has its own working fan. Weapon is a spike (Hence the name) that spins. Able to go forwards and backwards" By William Cooper Age 8 With a lot of help from Dad. K-Nex Workshop.
"This robot is a transport
vehicle from the planet Firebrand - used by Leprecorny's,
whos' main ideal is to mend robots wheels. It can only travel
backwards but the Leprecorny's disguise this by facing the
other way". Cunning. Rowan Bell
(11?)(Aloofly informed us that she wasn't doing welding,
"It's soldering!") Chaos entry.
"A veteran of last year, when he had to retire
after an intimate embrace with some K-Nex. Brave Sir Robin
is uncharacteristically returning for a rematch.
With the intelligence of an electric kettle (But not as
much as a fridge) BSR's tactic is to run away. Very
quickly".
Thank god, this year people knew how very cunning
BSR's evasions were.
By Simon Meacock. Southampton Robot
Foundry.
"It was the dawn of a new age. The First Ones have departed beyond the galactic rim, leaving their minions to survive as they can. Deprived of the resources and expertise of the Shadows, the servants of chaos make do with what they can get." Pa-thetic! Just pa-thetic! Robot Wrangler: Sally.
"Remember the walker Robot from
last year..? Well, meet: Lucifers Big Brother!! Bigger, Faster,
Stronger but perhaps not as cute". It's Lucifer with
a defence budget really isn't it? Carefully sculptured in K-Nex
by Tim Kirk.
Words fail to describe what awful
things can be constructed from a rollerskate, a tube, Some
nails, a red ping-pong ball, the skin of a toy puppy and
lots of black gaffa. They're sick people. Very sick and
twisted people.
By the people from the Humour/SF con:
'Aliens stole my handbag' (James &
Dave). Chaos entry.
"Unidentified Hovering Object. Fantastic workmanship!" A triumph of British engineering, from the country that brought you the Cotterell family budgie. By Brian Chaos entry.
"Power scource - human blood". Tastefully escorted in by an elegant young lady in chiffon. The organisers mistakenly introduced this as "The Robotic Housemaid" and proceeded to describe the "Handy helpmeet for the busy housewife". Meanwhile, this ghastly cardboard construction "Programmed in Glasgow, the home of British Computer Engineering", swore drunkenly at people in Glaswegian, brandished a broken bottle and attempted to stamp on their robots. Utterly disgraceful. Constructor/Ingredients: Arthur Chappell.
"Evolved from the
Cybermats" Hideously inventive. A Hampster-like silver
creature, just as you'd always feared as a child. Propelling
its own Cyberhampsterball too! By M@
"Fuelled by chocolate" Terrifyingly chipper, in a Dada-esque sort of way. As if the Tellytubbies had been directed by Ken Russell. This entry very nearly won the VC, until we realised they'd take it from out the country for all time. So we fixed it so they only got a chocolate egg. Poetic justice, worthy of Tinky-Winky, we thought. By Karin and Edgar. Chaos entry.
"Saved on re-entry. Laika, a dog barely alive. Yes gentlemen we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the technology to make the world's first Bionic Dog. Half plastic, half fur, all dog." Oh god. This was a truly hideous sight. And it yapped too! Probably the most unpleasant thing seen to date at BC. Bought by Eira. Adapted by M@, with a blowtorch mainly. But, possibly not quite as unpleasant as...
"sleek patrol vehicle designed to interdict an area. Semi self righting and fully autonomous, stealthbot is a clean mean battle machine" Another startlingly professional construction, completely invisible to radar. By Rising Star Enterprises. Chief Engineer: Andrew Langhammer (?)
"It runs away from stuff. especially loud noises" Haiku-like simplicity. (Hey, I just build the damn things. You want a life story for them, you write it! - M@) By M@. Rolling. Softly.
Something like a hirsute tampon. Small. but deadly. and so
absorbent! By The Bene Gesserit Sisters. These two
women should be carefully watched. Preferably from a distance.
See Universal Battle Robot. By Miche.
"It started small... and then got bigger. Calum's original design wouldn't fit the motor, so it was rebuilt, trying to follow the original design. Major new rebuild! Motor delivered - much bigger." By Callum Ewing Hepburn (Age 5) K-nex entry.
"Last year Michelle thought sticking a motor on some wheels with gaffa would be sufficient. This year she took a different approach. She asked Santa for a remote control car!! And adapted it at the workshop and built a robot around it!" "Good old Santa!" said Eira in her Phillipa Forrester role. Something like a green lampshade, but more confusing. By Michelle. with a little help from Mum. Chaos Workshop.
"Use VO track 3 on Minidisk" Not satisfied with mere consummate workmanship, this was presented, not only with it's own soundtrack, but with it's own pre-recorded voiceover! Equipped with spinning hammers. The general theme was something from Anime, I think. By Rising Star Enterprises under the directorship of Andrew Langhammer.
"Fully autonomous random walk with an automatically employed weapon on collision. hopefully! Finished off frantically on Wednesday, after frustrating programming." By Lego and Bazooka. Chaos entry.
AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST:
Dominated BC:V from the start by the presence of an unmentioned dog-kennel at the corner of the Pitch. Not satisfied by this, we were presented by, not just an intro, but a whole script to introduce Rex. The transcript is given here:
"Since time Immemorial, the dog has been Man's Best Friend. (Smile in an evil way) THINK AGAIN! Now, as we start the New Millennium, the Robot Doggie is here to stay. Following in the footsteps of Cerberus, the Two-headed dog of Hades; K9, Doctor Who's Lethal Companion, Lassie the Wonder Dog and the Sony Aibo; Beyond Cyberdrome is proud to bring you REX.. The Houndog Of Hell! (Applause!) Ready to rip and rend, bite and bark, smashing, screaming shouting and yelling, we give you the dog to fear. The mightiest Robot Dog to walk the earth. The dog to set your soul AFIRE!! In the words of Kind Lear, I tell you to "CRY HAVOC" (Pause) and "LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR." (pause, look confused as very small pathetic doggie emerges) But wait! Can this be so? Rex the Hellhound a tiny little doggie? Surely not! One so young, to inspire such fear? One so small? (Pause as dog barks loudly and hutch shakes) (Pause) Folk, move well back. Well back! That wasn't Rex. Cry "Havoc!" (All: "Havoc!") Cry "Havoc!" again! (All: "Havoc again!") THIS is Rex!.."
In truth: 'Rex' was two doggies. The first: A shop-bought little doggie cyberpup (Walking, yipping, cute). The second; A whopping great enormous shop-bought cyberdog (Walking, barking, kennel demolishing, hologram-glasses wearing). A fantastic crowd pleaser. Only didn't win the 'MBE' because. it was all shop bought. However, there's no doubt that the constructors could teach us a thing or two about entertainment. Pity they forgot to write who they were on the script really. (Note: Guys, please drop us a post. Really. We loved it! - M@)
"Here to show these upstart newfangled construction toys who's Boss!!! By running away very quickly. By the Miracle of modern Technology, parts of the original Fontosaurus are now entering their third Cyberdrome!" By Gav. Perhaps it's time we explained that 'Font' is the local Manchester SF Group.
"Now in its third Cyberdrome, BUT..
with new weaponry. the spinning drill bit has been replaced by a
nice new shiny knife - it's less likely to fall off!"
Incredibly. It didn't. Still: By Ewok.
Brought out of retirement by popular demand to delirious (Probably drunk) cheers. An Ewok Classic.
Yaaaaaay! By Brian. THE BC robot! Up to its usual unpretentious standard.
"Less said the better". Who the hell keeps bringing this rubbish along?! Oh. It's us.
Awards: VC: Big Bad Box MBE: Er.. Um. (Help! Someone must know if they received a prize) The Gimp? Chocolate Eggs To: 'Hammer of Skald? Michelle's Green Machine. Killer Bunny. Brave Sir Robin? Shocking memory. shocking. Must watch whatever it is we have on video (Shot by Gary Strathmann) sometime.
Beyond Cyberdrome VI (2001)'Eye Of The Robot' A Concept Album by Iron Feetus. 'Paragon'. Hanover Hotel. Hinkley.
We really are doing all we possibly can to stop this happening! Please join our 'Ban This Nasty Heavy Metal Pop Group From Presenting Beyond Cyberdrome' petition. ('BTNHMPGFPBC' for short) Thank you.
