Before the 2001 con, we were delighted to be told that M@ and John Richards, Helicon's Program organiser, were drinking buddies so it was all sorted. During the 2001 Dead Dog party, John insisted he didn't need the notes for BCVII as it was sorted. Over ensuing months, M@ and John repeated "Sorted". By October, M@ and Miche found they were too bound up with commitments and couldn't afford to go to Helicon, but it was probably sorted. Letters/Eposts to Helicon gleaned the response "All sorted... probably". By December, M@ explained nothing was sorted. In January, John's job imploded so he needed to concentrate on it full-time and resigned. As Eira was pregnant, the commitment of presenting 'BC' was the main reason for affording the money/time to go to Jersey) so in March, Sms was writing to Helicon asking if there was a reason to turn up.
Happily, by now Guilia De Cesarre had taken over, assured us of the
date and time of BC and costed shipping stuff to Jersey.
Astronomic. Guilia appointed BC a budget of £30.00 to post stuff to
the con. Since the heavy robots/kit were still in Southampton with
M@ and Miche, we just spent the £30.00 on lightweight robot kit and
took it over in our packs. Mark and Elaine (As parents of Joel and
Ethan) weren't going to Eastercon but Mark supplied an
excellent 'Ultimate Robot Kit'. Tim Kirk, meanwhile, posted
his K-Nex boxes over and arranged for them to go onto Ploktacon.
Eira and Sms bought tickets to Jersey. All we had to do now was
turn up, put up the artshow/cards, arrange the Phlosque award, sort
out the Workshop, arrange and publicise BC... and stuff.
(Susan Calvin Robotic Assembly Playroom) Though there was originally no provision made for the Workshop, Jaine Weddell readily agreed with Tim to share the Chaos Costume Workshop room with us so long as she got Sms' head on a pole. Guilia re-arranged an item or two and found a room we could use from 4.00 onwards. Sms wrote stuff up in the Newsletter and it all worked rather well. The Workshop room was excellent! This time, we even had a big worktable!
Guilia and Sms found a spare room in which to hold 'Sprokkette Idol'
(The search for the members of the new supergroup 'Sprokkette 5')
and work began on publicising it via posters (Without sticking
anything to the hotel walls. The hotel were very insistent on this).
During the prestigious 'Banquet', this formed the only programme event aside from the Workshop. So successful was 'Sprokkette Idol' that Round Two ("Sprokk-ettes in Manacles") was arranged for after the event (Cue politically incorrect poster #2). This, after a gruelling interview and audition session, extensive audience voting and enthusiastic photography, gave us ten Sprokkettes.
Attempting to pull notes for BC from the Website was stymied by the
fact no-one knew the system for doing so as the hotel had full
control of this facility (And it cost). By Saturday, we'd
printed out the Rules and produced a 'Bible' for Tek
(Whoever they turned out to be). Tek had no idea what to do for BC.
Worse, no-one seemed to know who was DOING tek for BC. On Friday, a
chat with the Tek arranging a different item in the Lido (Where BC
was scheduled) revealed it would be impossible to arrange a BC
event on the stage as had been planned/assumed. We re-located it to
the area behind the seating. Counter-intuitive but a much better
'venue'. We spent much of the next few days searching for
something - anything - to use as pitch barricades.
On Sunday, about 12.30, Tek transpired to be the helpful chap who had recommended Sms where to buy a broom earlier. By 1.00 we'd arranged the chairs for the pitch, checked the mikes and soundtracks and found a way to pin up the BC 'Banner' and notices without sticking anything to any walls. Thanks to Kelvin for finding us a mikestand. Thank god, someone found a key to the room next door, which was full of tabletops, ideal for BC barricades. By 1.10, people had turned up, we found seats for Sprokkettes and presenters and Sms was being told to begin. At 1.15, we began. By 1.20: Sms found a gap in programming to change.
"Annoying Kids Tv" involved over-enthusiastic shouting and jabbering by Eira and Sms with an attention span of only a few seconds. Everything was "Brilliant" and "Mad". Many Smarties consumed by the presenters.
Most Sprokketes ever! 10!
First mixed-sex Sprokkettes as they were now "Hot new pop group" 'Sprokkette 5'. The Sprokkettes made up for the lack of dancefloor with improvising even more violent chants than usual.
Cal (Brainy Sprokkette). Sue (Posh Sprokkette). Sharon (Bimbo Sprokkette). Jill (Porno Sprokkette). 'Demon' (Las Vegas Sprokkette). 'Artemis' (Classical Sprokkette). 'Big Boy' (Velvet Sprokkette). Arthur (Testosterone Sprokkette).
Chris O-Shea (Fairy Sprokkette) was unable to make it but was represented by a box of Fairy Cakes. 'Big Gun' (Scary Sprokkette) was unable to make it as his operator, Bazooka, was operating robots. Nonetheless, an air of fear and female excitement pervaded the pitch.
Rex Beeblebooze (PHD) (Inanimate Sprokkette) was waved frequently.
Whilst neither M@ nor Mark were able to make the con, Eira produced them in puppet form. Eira operated the eerie (And silent) glove-puppet 'Mark' and Sms was assisted in operating the beerglass-waving (Also eeriely silent) M@ stick-puppet by John.
A 'Goodie Grab-bag' containing videos, CD's and other spinoff products of the "Mad new hit Sci-Fi Adventure movie, 'R.U.R. , by Karel Capek' ("Girl Power!") won by a member of the Audience by phoning in ("Hope he asked for permission of the person who pays the bill") to answer "Who wrote the Mad new hit Sci-Fi Adventure movie, 'R.U.R. , by Karel Capek? Was it: a) Britney Spears, b) Jimmy Neutron or c) Karel Capek?".
First use of the brilliant addition of eerie
inflatable pink spheres supplied by a Mystery
Benefactor which Andrew Langhammer produced from a gum-like
substance. This not only looked marvellous but also tangled
up some robots gearing.
First BC to have no video feedback since BC2 (The flex wouldn't stretch all the way from the mixing desk which, this year, was on the stage itself).
Entries split into three groups which ran races as part of their
'Intros'. Sir Richard won it easilly, until he approached the finish
line and ran away from it. Boogie Gonzales was first to collide with
the finish line. Walk-Man slowly and steadilly approached the
finish line. Great Gobbler Bug was slow to deal with the carpet but
finally reached the finish line first.
(In spite of manful attempts, it simply wasn't possible to either roll it up or cover the pitch with anything else).
Usual 'Battle to the Death' involving mousetraps.
Music: Britney Spears and 'Now 51'. Yes, part of our 'Kids TV' theme. No-one objected!
Video'd by Mongoose...
...and by someone else who agreed to exchange copies with us... Where are you sir?
Once again, thanks to Jan van 't Ent for excellent Newsletter liason. Thanks to John Dallman for general Gophering and input.
Thanks to Dr Plokta and Steve Cain for cracking the 'Hotel De Paris' code.
As the winner of last BC's 'VC' didn't
make it to this year's Eastercon, we had to produce another 'VC'.
This year it was 'The Wallace'.
A twelve-inch high lovingly detailed figurine of the great Yorkshire inventor, celebrating the very best in British Engineering.
Runners-up got Lego Technic 'Bike' kits.
Praise be to Tek. You did a grand job, but really need more instructions, in better time.
Eira was equipped with a very dinky clip-mike. Sms with the traditional handmike.
'BC Rules' put up as a noticeboard by the bar. An 'event' in itself as many people pored earnestly over them... and began to laugh.
"It looks like a bumblebee" This would, presumably, be the bumblebee as visualised by Paul Klee. Michelle Rosenblum is a girl of few words.
Runner up.
"This is a spikey thing. It's called that because it has spikes. It would have been called 'Shaggy', but since it's not actually doing that, it's called Spike instead. So, ladies and gentlemen, without further gilding the lily, without boring you witless, here it is - Sp-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ke!"
Note must be made of Freddy. He quietly sat in the corner of the Workshop, in his dog-collar with nametag, assembling 'spike' with a modest but knowing smile on his face. It was only to be expected that, during the match, Spike shagged Boogie Gonzales. Freddy. We suspect there's a subtext here somewhere.
Runner up.
"When he's out for a gentle
stroll, in any collision it will be a walkover."
A Lego-figure on a Lego chassis... An accident waiting to happen
really... It did. Often. Brian Parsons.
"Dragons aren't really extinct. They've just got really good at hiding. The Froop Dragon, or Lesser Spotted Frooty generally hides in forests and mugs squirrels. This specimen has its autumn colouring. Its bright vestigial wings allow it to glide from tree to tree, the better to surprise those pesky squirrels."
The Froop Dragon dominated the pitch with style and character. A particular highpoint was when it appeared to be laying more 'pink bubbles' over the pitch. Andrew Langhammer (With added sillyness from James Steel). Runner up.
"Built out of Lego. Trundles around like a tank. Comes with a friend (!)" Unquestionably the star of the show.
If ever Lego invades the 'Warhammer' universe, it will build something like this to do it. Better still, this radio controlled machine included a 'scoop' that was able to lift robots off the floor and flip them onto their backs.
Not only did the Tank clamber over everything
like a Land Ironclad visiting Trumpton, but it successfully
'laid' (Ok, deposited'). An equally destructive
smaller tank that ran 'interference'.
Bazooka (Friend/Wrangler: 'Big
Gun'). V.C. winner.
"Must reach home in pristine condition so the twins Ethan and Joel can play with it when they grow up... Built from the 'Ultimate Robot Building Kit' supplied by Mark."
Sadly, Mark, Elaine and their two toddlers couldn't make it, but the kit he supplied almost made up for his absence.
Brilliantly simple cardboard design in which a turning disk allowed the little love to turn away from obstacles...
Alas, the carpet provided more of a problem for its little wheels.
'Slaterplate' was returned to its owners only slightly creased and crushed. Mark Slater.
"The head salesman in the Woolworth Cybernetic Department assured Cal that the key structural base of this robot contained the latest and most deadly Anti-Robot Technology. Unfortunately, she can't find the switch to activate the battery-seeking missiles."
Purple fur
completed the spider-y effect with tasteful feminine menace.
Cal. The first 'Sprokkette'- built
robot... possibly.
"If it reaches flying speed, then the law of gravity has been repealed."
This K-Nex structure sported extravagant, but utterly useless, 'wings'. It mostly broke and got in the way of other robots. Pathetic. Therefore, popular. Alasdair Hepburn.
"Slightly braver than
Sir Robin - but still runs away from frontal
attacks."
And... It did. Made of intelligent Lego... It won the first 'race'... only to run away from the finishing line... From there on it was a guaranteed Crowd Favourite. Tim Kirk. As ever, Tim gave an air of rising above the sillyness of BC, yet actively promoting it. Runner up.
"A superb example of British technology at its best! Look at the tremendous eye for design and style. Made of the finest, yet cost-effective materials and note it is entirely recyclable!"
It looked very like a toilet
roll on a piece of string, but the PR says otherwise. Brian
Parsons.
"Been clubbing all night. Feeling a little worse for wear this morning - let's see if it drives in a straight line... Made out of an old mini. Powered by two flat batteries. Weapons: two baloons. Strengths: In theory. Weaknesses: Aha! Right, how long a list would you like?"
Any robot that trails two balloons in its wake is going to be a popular entry. This was! "Kelvin (I hope)". It says here. Runner up.
"This Nano-scale device embodies all the things wrong with all
the other robots. You can't see Murphy's Nanobot,
but when the others go wrong, that's it
working."
Whilst invisible to the naked eye, a
tremendous favourite with the audience. In constant danger
of being picked up and taken home by a child. There was a
ghastly moment when it was suspected that someone had
trodden on it, but a few minutes later, the awesome power
and resilience of Murphy's Nanobot was demonstrated
when part of the pitch barricade fell over. We look
forwards to seeing Murphy's Nanobot again at later
BC's. Brian Parsons.
"?"
Nothing, to date, has been remembered about this robot.
Perhaps the video will jog our memories. I'm sure we
all loved it, but there's nothing else written on the
'Entry sheet'. Perhaps this is what Piers wanted. Piers.
"Scourge of carpet fluff everywhere, it beats as it sweeps as it grinds to a disappointing halt. Cobbled together from bits and pieces from the 'Ultimate Robot Building Kit' courtesy of Mark Slater, with added stylish Gaffa Tape styling."
Lovely 'chomping jaw action'.
Particularly charming is the way it's On/Off switch is
the paperclip in its antennae. Some difficulty with carpet
necessitated Eira's appearance upon the pitch.
Eira and Snodgrass... (Snodgrass also
found the time to build some more neurones during the
Con... Surely a rarity amongst Fen!).
The South African Lesser Caramba Cyber Dragon
"Result of a bizarre experiment with givaway toys in Mexican fast food. One sample fell in a DNA replicator to produce... Boogie Gonzales!"
A 'free toy' on steroids...
Silver Dragon-y thing. Walked, growled. Wagged its tail.
Shagged. All the crowd-pleasing skills really. See
'Spike' for further details. Andrew
Langhammer.
"It wasn't going
to be a robot. It started out as an attempt to build an
interesting polyhedral structure out of K-Nex. Tim added
some wheels and a motor to it. It might even move. It
doesn't have dodecahedral symmetry though. Sorry."
Nicholas Jackson (And Tim Kirk). Coxeter is, it seems, a famous Topologist, which makes this all terribly amusing and witty... to a mathematician. It should be pointed out: Nick is a Mathematician.
